Summertime, and the livin’ is easy

Fish are jumpin’ and the grass verges are high.

Here’s our guide to some of the exciting things that will be happening in St Albans over the next couple of months plus a few that we’d like to see in the not too distant future.
The City & District council have spent most of the entertainment budget on fly-posting the whole area with their most informative publication ‘Community News – Summer in the City’ leaflet.

Personally, I’m intrigued at the mention of the new full colour 3D illustrated St Albans City Centre map and guide, only 2 quid from the Tourist Information Centre (no we don’t get commission).

Mind you, I’ll be first in the queue for a refund if a scale model of the clock tower doesn’t pop up and poke me in the eye when I unfold the map but they do say ‘3D’ so surely I won’t be disappointed?

To be fair though, as long as it’s got the beach volleyball court location clearly marked, (presumably near the ‘bottom’ end of the park) it’ll be the best £2 I spend all summer.

There’ll be the usual giant puppets at the Alban Weekend and the equally scary Morris men will be banging their short sticks against each other as they dance.  

Which reminds us, the International Organ festival will soon be upon us too. Although seeing it advertised in the leaflet with a picture of altar boys made us wonder if someone’s got the wrong end of the stick? 

The Verulamium museum is holding numerous events this summer among them are a few that we would have been proud to have thought of ourselves.

Just for the kids, there’s the ‘Make your own Roman Fridge Magnet’ sessions.

WTF?!

Now we’ll give the Romans credit for central heating and concrete but we at AL3 know for a ‘fact’ that refrigerators were invented in 1066 by Korean ice cream van driver Mr Sam Sung.

There’s also a talk entitled “The Wicked Lady”.
Who was she? What naughty things did she do? What happened to her?”

Well (SPOILER ALERT), we can reveal that she is a 54 year old woman from Sandridge who shoplifted all over the county (a strange penchant for HDMI cables and Lego sets), is banned from numerous shops in the area and has been given a 2 week suspended sentence.

Herts Ad court report, once again, we thank you.

Coincidentally, there are ‘mock’ trials being held at the Crown Court as part of the Magna Carta 800th anniversary.

Perhaps the town planners who are responsible for the Premier Inn and Blue and Red bank in St Peters Street could be put in the dock for crimes against the City’s architecture?

Now, I expect you all put hands in pockets to help bring to life St. Albans very own boutique cinema and (KERCHING!) there it is. The Odyssey.

No longer will Snorbenites need to traipse into Londinium to see such Art House classics like MOOMINS ON THE RIVIERA (book now for this weekend’s matinee and ‘no’ we don’t get commission).

Anyway, the council will soon be asking the good people of the city for a couple of million towards the £8m needed to turn the old town hall building into a replica of the Obama’s current residence. Apparently it will be a museum and at that price we can only imagine what events they will hold there for the kids when it’s open. Make your own Roman thermo-nuclear reactor?

Finally, here are three things that may, or may not, be in the minds of the council.

Yes, they may sound ridiculous but just promise to remember where you heard it first and we promise not to say “we told you so”.

They aren’t going to pedestrianise the High Street but plans are afoot for a trolley bus system from the Abbey Station up the hill. It’s still being decided on where the trolley bus will terminate but the Peahen is our bet.

This will coincide with the new twin ice rinks planned for the former site of the gasometers down by the retail park.  Our source at the council told us “The last thing anyone wants to do after two hours of acting like Torville or Dean is to schlep back up Holywell Hill into town so we’ll try and have the trolley bus system in place in time for the opening”.

In the unlikely event that the tram and skating options don’t work out, there’s also a compromise contingency plan involving turning Holywell Hill into a giant waterslide but this is so ridiculous we won’t go into any detail here.

Enjoy the sun (if the grass verges aren’t blocking it out)  and remember – 

If you build it, they will come. 

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