Yes, duty calls for Snorbenite males. Our better halves, under the guise of interior design/landscape gardener experts, pay no heed to the fact that the football and rugby season ending crescendo is upon us. Instead, without fail, they begin the annual ritual that is the writing of (imagine a Vincent Price voice-over) ‘The Little List of Things’.
The only certainties about ‘The List’ are that it shall contain things that are little, things that are not so little and things that are big. For verily, it is written that, though ‘The List’ may hath items crossed off it when they are completed, new items will be added by the Forewoman once she hath watched the latest episode of Kirstie’s Fill Your House (with stuff you didn’t know you wanted) For Free. Well, that’s “Free” unless you can get it ready made or have to cover it with Farrow & Ball liquid gold.
My interior designer was preoccupied over the recent Bank Holiday so I, temporarily, escaped ‘The List’ but it stills hangs like the sword of Damocles waiting to drop whenever it is most inconvenient.
Not for me bedding plants and emulsion colour charts, oh no, no, no dear readers. My Bank Holiday sports fest was to be interrupted by the urgent need for ……………packets of fajita mix!
Yes, fajita mix and yes it was ‘urgent’. There was an emergency and I was required to make a mercy dash to get the ‘Old Alamo’ fajita kit and be quick (or should I say ‘muy rápido’) about it too.
‘What could possibly be “urgent” about Old Amarillo fajita mix?’ I hear you ask. Well, dear reader, I am reliably informed that, due to the current composition of your standard fajita mix packet, there is a condition called “EXTRAS” – EXcessive Tortillas Remaining After Supper. This can lead to Cupboard Room At Premium (see pic) syndrome and despite my thoughtful suggestion that they may come in handy should we be caught short for toilet paper the pile never seems to decrease.
Ah yes, mercy dash.
‘Ok my dearest, sounds simple enough’ (silly me).
‘It’s in the yellow and red box, but not the Original recipe one. You have to get the one with “extra mild super tasty” written in blue.’
‘Ah, so that’ll be the yellow and red with a bit of blue on it box then?’
‘Just ask in the shop if you’re not sure!’
So, with those words of
encouragement ringing in my ears, I left for the joy of Painsbury’s. Now I must confess that I mostly shop at Waitrose, mainly because, when I first moved to Snorbans, I was led to believe that it was compulsory if one was to be accepted in social circles. PS – Before any accusations of snobbery are made, I have been known to pop into the odd Chavsda too.However, I had ulterior motives for going to Painsberries. No, not to look at the latest TU spring collection. Firstly, it gave me the excuse to nip into Homebase to look at all the gardening and power tools that I had no intention of buying or, even if I did buy them, using. It’s a man thing.
Secondly, I wanted to look at and photograph the location for AL3’s pet project.” If you build it they will come.” All will be revealed in a later blog but, suffice to say for now, ‘support us or the puppy gets it’.
PS -To the lady passer-by who saw me taking pictures and gave me a look as if I’d farted at her baby’s christening (wind-breaking at other religious gatherings is also available)
I was just taking a photo!!Anyway, important stuff done, I strolled over to the superstore and (to my delight) the only thing longer than the till queues (presumably Waitrose was closed?) was the distance to the aforementioned paquete de tortillas. Superstore? SuperLONGstore more likely.
Suffice to say, an hour later I was homeward bound armed with 3 packets of Old Eldorado fajita mix all resplendent in yellow red and blue, well at least two of them were. Why don’t people put things back in the right places?!
Two would be enough though, we won’t be having fajitas more than twice in the same week surely?
I returned, hunter-gatherer duties complete and satisfied in knowing that there would be no panic in our home should we run out of toilet paper.
Obviously the error in the shop (1 in 3 failure rate) was mentioned by the interior design department who deemed it “typical”.
‘No, no I ask for nothing in return dear, after all, my reward is your pleasure my dearest.’
I was swiftly reminded that I was fortunate that the best things come in small packages.
OBVIOUSLY she was talking about fajita kits!!
Hasta luego muchachos.